• Indispensable Yachting Terms from A-Z
  
  Anchor: usage," we passed them while at anchor " A boat anchored in a 3 knot current has zero SOG and 3 knot water speed.
  A boat sailing at 2 1/2 knots against the current will have 1/2 knot SOG in the wrong direction, and be passed by the anchored boat.
  
  Aussie kiss: just like a French kiss but done down under.
  
  Barber haul: device on either side of the boat to constrain or choke the spinnaker. Tweeker in NA.
  
  Blow the guy: usage, " drop the chute under the main and down the hatch, ease the sheet a dollop, ease the halyard and blow the guy"
  
  Banana split: end result of the rolly pollies when the boat goes splat ( broaches ) the wrong way, with the boom in the air and the pole in the water.
  
  Clappers: usage, " we were going like the clappers, like a haunted outhouse, off into the night like 90, like a scolded cat. High rate of knots.
  
  Choke: Greg Norman at the Masters. apply the barber hauls to strangle / choke the spinnaker.
  
  CCA: early design rule that lead to the design of boats reasonably capable of good rolly pollies. Cruising Club of America.
  
  Chinese fire drill: activity on board before a banana split, often in conjunction with some other drama like spilled beer.
  
  Collywobbles: result of hooley or banana split. upset puka
  
  Duck: alter course to go behind another boat.
  
  Dekko: usage " hey Throkmorton have a dekko under the head sail for other boats. have a look.
  
  Dunny: head or toilet - slash house or bog shop depending how used.
  
  English sunbathing: expose ankles to suns rays.
  
  Fossick: usage, " hey Pullthru, have a fossic down below for beer. to search for something "
  
  Fartassing around: usage " hey Ding King quit fartassing around down there, we need you on deck" wasting time doing useless stuff.
  
  Flea rake: comb.
  
  Fizz boat: motor boat.
  
  Gig lamps: double glazed - glasses.
  
  Gob: mouth.
  
  Gidday: tenakoe - haere mai - hello.
  
  Heel: ends of a loaf of bread.
  
  Hooley: sailors POV, good party - others POV, wild out of control party.
  
  IOR: design rule intended to enable boats to perform good banana splits. International Offshore Rule.
  
  Jybe: usage " hey Bowser, you really buggered up that gybe " to insult or taunt.
  
  Jumper: warm wooly - gansey in Irish.
  
  Knackered: worn out.
  
  Knuckle sandwich: alternate penalty in lew of protest. bunch of fives.
  
  Lose the helm: usage " hey Buggerlugs, get your fat arse off the pointy end, we are about to lose the helm. lack of steerage and boat control.
  
  Lolly scoop: hull extension past the transom, good for landing fish.
  
  Life of Reilly: happy care free sailor.
  
  Maarire: to go gently.
  
  Mubtew: boat name, spell it bassackwards.
  
  Mouldy: intoxicated.
  
  Medication: mild dose, Coors Budweiser - regular dose Grolsch, Pale Ale - strong dose, whiskey, rum - table surfing dose, gin, tequila until mouldy or paralitic.
  
  Mexican take down: usage " hey Noodlum, we buggered up the gybes and now the pole is on the wrong board, so we will do a Mexican take down at the mark. remove the spinnaker pole B4 lowering the spinnaker, to enable a tack after the mark.
  
  Newbie: beginner sailor - rookie.
  
  Narky: cranky.
  
  OZZ: land of Ned Kelly and associates - home of Ben Lexen and Alan Bond who hoisted the Americas Cup from the NYYC.
  
  Ossified: intoxicated.
  
  Pointy end: sharp end of boat - bow.
  
  Paralitic: seriously ossified commode hugging drunk.
  
  Perl: to submerge the pointy end.
  
  Polite broach: round up with the boom in the water, pole to windward.
  
  Pissing down: heavy rain.
  
  Puka: tummy.
  
  Que: long line of sailors leading to the medication dispensor.
  
  Rolly Pollies: to travel down wind with spinnaker up and mast waving side to side, boat under borderline of control, preparing for a broach or banana split.
  
  Stroppy: usage " young Reg has been acting a bit stroppy lately since he gave Bill a knuckle sandwich" full of it.
  
  Skite: brag.
  
  Smidgen: usage " hey Newbie, lower the pole a smidgen " more than a tinkers fart, less than a dollop, about 2 1/2 inches
  
  Spaghetti factory: lines in the cockpit when all the sails are up.
  
  Skid mark: trail left in water from broach.
  
  Teeming: heavy rain.
  
  Tutuki: screw up at the down wind gate - head on collision.
  
  Tinkers fart: less than a smidgen - negligible amount.
  
  Technicolour yawn. end result of a good hooley, collywobbles or banana split. chunder or puke.
  
  Uncle Arthur: blond with a black skirt - Guinness - pint of stout.
  
  Vegemite and Marmite: a dark butter like substance to spread on bread, essential for long races.
  
  Wet: a boat that allows a lot of spray over the pointy end - see Mubtew.
  
  What's the guts: usage " hey Crusty, what's the guts with all the gear you brought on board? " explanation please.
  
  Wobbly: usage " the captain through a wobbly when he found out we ripped the good chute and drank all the beer " hairy canary - have a fit - Wobbler Irish
  
  X rated: what happens on the boat, stays on the boat. " the government has no business in the bedrooms of Canadians" PET.
  
  Yendis: name of boat in OZZ, see Mubtew.
  
  Yachtie: God's chosen people - yachtsman and yachtswomen.
  
  Yatchit club: yacht club.
  
  Zoned: dialled in - focussed.
  
  Zilch: nothing - zero.
  
  As always, Crusty Snippets
  
  
• Mooring Tips: There is nothing quite so satisfying as sitting on the patio of your favorite Yacht Club by the Bay, a pint of Pale Ale ( on special for $4.25 ) in hand, and watch your boat swinging from its mooring. Far more satisfying indeed than to watch it slowly drift away.
  
  For all this to take place we need a few basic ingredients:
  A quiet bay, Pale Ale on sale, a boat, an approved mooring buoy, sufficient length and size of chain, an anchor and chain, satisfactory lines from the mooring buoy to the boat, sufficient water beneath the keel at low tide, knowledge that what you are doing is legal, and a generally acceptable practice for "your bay", shackles to attach the chain, and sufficient weight that will be deep sixed / sent to the bottom.
  
  Lets put the pieces together:
  
  First we contact the Coast Guard for approval, then we stake out a suitable "posi "/ a "pluto " location after studying the tide charts. We observe this spot in both high and low tides and compare the findings to the " king " maximum high tides, and maximum low tides. From these observations we can determine the length of chain required. Less scope is required for heavy chain. Light weight chain is not satisfactory. A heavy weight that can be deep-sixed can be placed on the foredeck of your boat, or it can be rowed to the site with the dinghy. How this is done is for a more advanced course, but the tide can be your friend.
  The weight, often an old engine block, can be substituted for concrete in drums, but concrete weighs less when submerged than steel, so you need more of it. But the concrete has a larger surface area and when stuck in the mud has greater suction.
  The heavy chain is attached to the weight with a heavy shackle, the other end of the chain to the mooring buoy. The heavy weight is dropped over the side. This again is for a more advanced course but a 12 X 2 piece of wood athwartships / sideways on the pointy end, with the weight close to one side. The lighter end of the wood can be raised and the weight slideth off, ker-splash, glug glug glug. The boat is then attached to the mooring buoy with one very heavy rope, two not-so-heavy ropes, or three ropes depending on preference, proximity to neighbours, and insurance coverage.
  
  The anchor chain is looped around the chain going down to the weight, with a retrieval line attached. The anchor is then rowed about fifteen to 20 feet away with the dinghy. You did remember the dinky I hope. The anchor is then dropped in the puddle after making sure it is shackled to the chain.
  
  When sailing or motoring away from the mooring the dinky is substituted for the boat. It marks your spot. Your mooring buoy also has the boat's name on it along with the words " Private mooring".
  
  If you are away from the Bay for any period of time it is good practice to have someone watch your boat for you.
  
  
• Learning the rules of racing is easier and more graphic than ever with the animated sailing situations displayed on the fine web site at: www.steadycrew.com/quizzes/ This is also a good web site to find that crewing position you were looking for in the South Seas. Here is another great website that shows excellent animated sailing situations. www.ukhalsey.com/RulesQuiz/index.asp
  
• Right-of-Way rules: Remember that a boat that is about to leave the moorage basin has the right-of -way over a boat about to enter the basin. So if you see a boat approaching the opening in the breakwater from inside the basin, please just hang back a bit in open water to allow the exiting boat to depart safely. The south entrance is very narrow and near collisions have been observed due to right-of-way violations.
  
• Keeping your boat's battery topped up is now more affordable than ever with a 1.5 watt solar charger from Princess Auto that went on sale yesterday (March 3rd) for the lowest price ever at only $14.95. The solar charger even comes with battery clamps and cigar lighter connections.. take your pick. I took home two yesterday, one for the boat and one for the camper van.
  
• The use of VHF radio within the KYC racing fleet is getting encouragement from the sailing committee with the bargain priced portable VHF radios coming on the market. The extra safety of a VHF radio can come in handy as the Kelowna fire department monitor VHF channel 16 in emergency situations.
  
• Next time you are down at the docks, take a few minutes to examine your mooring lines. The winter winds may have frayed the stress points on your lines and could be at the breaking point. A few days ago, I replaced a broken bow line on E dock. Fortunately, a remaining spring line had prevented damage to the boat and its neighbour.

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